February 2012
8 posts
WatchMy really, really good friend Ben Pluimer is having a birthday today. Despite me giving him shit with this video (from a project we shot about 6 years ago!), I am actually very happy to call him a close friend. I’m also excited to see what happens to his career now that he’s an “adult” and doesn’t have to worry about music, fashion or anything else that burdens you...
January 2012
9 posts
New Pilot.
U kneed 2 c dis.
Ummm...
Someone explain to me how this character name isn’t racist? Aaron Asian, anyone? Mark Mexican?
The Cupcake is Half-Full
So the last couple of posts have been me bitching about being screwed over from an MFA program about 6 years ago. And while I’m sure that you’re all riveted hearing about that over and over, I thought it might be time to either share some good news.
Last month I booked a movie. It’s an exciting, action filled movie with the word “Operation” in it. I play a...
Some People go to Bars on Friday Nights and Some...
“I look forward to getting old enough that everyday tasks like walking and...”
– Mike McCafferty, the Battle of Middle-Age, c. 2012
My MFA
I’ve decided to become my own University and and grant myself an MFA. From now on when people ask me what my MFA is in, I’ll reply that it’s in “Mother Fucking Acting” and I am now a certified “Mother Fucking Actor.” I may stay an extra year to get the “Mother Fucking Actor, Bitch” distinction, but I just don’t know if it’s as...
Did I Win or Lose?
About 6 years ago, I tried my second attempt at a Masters degree.
It was at CSULB (Cal State University Long Beach, for those you initialization phobic) and it was an MFA for Acting. Now it was supposed to be a 3 year program, but some people got to have a year credited to them for “life experience.” I was not one of them, despite having better credits than many of the people who...
I went to see the Muppet movie today at the El Capitan theatre in Hollywood. At one point in the movie, the muppets return to the theatre where they used to do the old Muppet Show. They used the exterior of the El Capitan theatre as that exterior location. Later, they entered the theatre. We weren’t there.
December 2011
7 posts
WatchNew Years Resolution: vertical eyelids.
Channy's Part 3
Oh wait, we did win at the Channys! Ben liked his award a lot, and left early that night.
Today at a Taco Bell audition, I met a friend. We both had auditions for movies after this audition today.
His was for the reboot of Evil Dead.
Mine was for the Lifetime movie Cupcake Wars.
I really needed to be holding a sword or bazooka while telling him that, just to offset my loss of manliness I was feeling.
Channy Awards, Part 2
I should point out that while other dudes won awards, none of them got to go on stage and honk 18 beautiful women (and 2 handsome men) during the 2011 Channy Award show. Last night I broke the world’s record of for most consecutive honks with 20. I stood in front of 200+ people all shouting “honk! honk! honk!”…begging me to grope people in socially unacceptable places and...
My Channy Award
Last night was the 2011 Channy Awards. I was nominated personally for 2 awards and 7 total for my show Hönkers.
Last night, I was a winner at being a loser. 7 noms, zero awards. That takes me to 1-18 lifetime. Ouch.
Having said that, I didn’t expect to win, so it was nice to just watch the show and laugh at all the funny videos and see my friends win.
If there was one award I...
Unfit Dad
Try to follow me on this.
Get a call from my manager today.
Manager: So I wanted to let you know that I submitted you and your son, Kiernan, for the Father/son roles on a new series called “Apartment 23”.
Me: Thats great!
Manager: Here’s the thing though, they called back and they only want to see Kiernan.
Me: (Confused beat) What? They only want to see Kiernan? Why not...
November 2011
6 posts
The Lottery
Every once in a while my lovely wife and I stop and wonder why we’re still living in LA. With two kids and a really high cost of living, it’s very enticing to get off the merry-go-round of auditions, callbacks, rejection or booking and then auditions again. It feels like we aren’t making enough headway to justify the big bucks it costs to stay out here.
My response to her and...
Red Rain, Page 1.
Holy cripes, look at how awesome this first page of me and Ben Pluimer’s horror film, Red Rain is! I think you need to tell your producer friends to ask us for a copy of it before jerkass Warner Brothers buys it. Srsly!
Dear Pizza Hut...
Fuck you.
No seriously, fuck off, screw you, go to hell, die in not pleasant circumstances, ect.
That a little harsh, huh? A little too much vehemence for a fast food chain, right? More Occupy Anger than Enjoy Salty pizza, yeah? Sorry, not my usual laid back tone, but it may be justified. I just got robbed.
I’m thinking back about two months ago to a callback I was at for Pizza Hut....
October 2011
8 posts
To the Cast and Crew of Hönkers...
Honkers and Honkettes, So sadly, Hönkers finished in 6th place last night, one spot shy of getting to do a 5th episode. I can’t say I wasn’t disappointed, but I also can’t say I wasn’t relieved as well. This episode was the most elaborate, difficult shoot we had to date. We had 6 days of shooting for an episode that we vowed to be “simpler” than the last. Instead, we said “Screw it” and...
Hönkers #4!
Damn, I have talented friends.
My friend Nico drew this for me and it’s close to being better than the actual show.
People in the industry always wonder why we make these shows for Channel 101 for free. The answer in this post. It’s because I get to work with amazingly gifted people. People like Nico, who come from all over (he showed up from Arizona) the country and world...
WatchAn old rejected submission for Channel 101. Kinda of part of my weird phase that may or may not have ended. Fear The ORB!
C'mon Tumblr.
Every day I check out my Tumblr blog (in 10 years everyone will be embarrassed at the lack of vowels this generations refused to brand with) and find this in the corner….
Some random, contextless picture from some other Tumblr account. It rotates daily or hourly, but it’s alway something that smacks of pretention. What are we supposed to glean from this, other than the person...
Writing Tip #14
I always assign every character in my writing a name whose first letter doesn’t start with any other character’s first letter in their name. I do this to accentuate the differences of each character both internally and externally in the complex worlds I create for them.
Nah, I’m kidding. I do it ‘cause it makes it easier for SmartType to fill in the rest.
I'm Not Sure Why This Site Exists, But I... →
September 2011
13 posts
WatchEpisode #3 of Hönkers. Like episode #2, this episode was fraught with bad luck (sudden downpour right when we needed to shoot. A downpour in LA?) and casting “readjustments’ (After we lost choice #1,2 and 3 for the tag, we just cut it and came up with a new, better ending) that made the episode harder than it should have been.
Despite all that, Hönkers came in 4th place and we get...
WatchThis is footage of the lottery commercial I shot on Friday. Right before they shot the plastic coins at my face, they got some poor PA to sit in my seat and act as a test dummy for the effect. Lesson here: my union is stronger than his.
As you can see, the coins aren’t really a big deal and they actually just dump them on you more than shoot them. To be honest the worst thing about it...
Coin Face
My commercial agent: You booked the California Lottery commercial, Mike!
Me: That’s great! Thanks!
Agent: Now there is one thing. They’re shooting coins at you.
Me: Oh. I…wait, what?
Agent: It’s part of the spot, remember?
Me: Yeah, but…Metal coins being shot at me?
Agent: No, they say they’re fake coins. Shouldn’t hurt at all.
Me:...
How I Spent My Saturday Night.
And surprisingly, it lines up pretty closely to how I’ve always spent my Saturday nights.
But my god, despite these screenshots, this was a boring episode.